SYUTBAI

I was born in Thailand in the refugee camps shortly after my family escaped from the Cambodian civil war and 3-year-8-month genocide. We immigrated to Canada on May 15th, 1989 when I was only 3.5 years old.

Although my grandparents and parents were born and raised in Cambodia, we are Chinese. My dad's side of the family is Cantonese from Guangdong, China. My mom's side is also Chinese, but an ethnic minority. I have three sisters, each of them born in a different country: my older sister was born in Cambodia, my younger sister born in Thailand with me, and my youngest sister born in Canada.

It wasn't until Grade 9 that I felt my parents' traumatic impact from the war. My father had adamantly rejected my invitation to a 3-Day Math Camp at the University of Western Ontario. I could not understand how the proposal drifted to life insurance or how my life was in danger? In retrospect, I realized the misunderstanding was triggered from a single word, "camp". Such intense emotions that single word conjured in my father.

The battle loss left me crying: I was unable to defy filial piety, a value deeply rooted in me that drove me to suppress my wills and fill my mind with numerous "I can't" statements for the following 3 years.

I silently refused to accept my father's plan to have me join the workforce after high school and skip out on going to University. I studied hard despite lack of parental support and their disapproval for pulling too many late nights. I finally made my dream come true when I earned $10,000 in scholarships and bursaries for my first year at the University of Waterloo.

Even before starting University, I had already realized that Grad school was not an option if I wanted to fulfill my time-sensitive mission for University: Enabling my family so we can leave poverty and physical labour behind; finally alleviating the unbearable burdens that my father has been carrying by himself all this time.

I am truly lucky to be born to parents that put their children first, in the best way they know how. It's not always the best way for the children, but their hearts are no doubt in the right place. Despite suffocating in high school from my father's overprotectiveness, my mind has finally come to understand his intentions, something my instinct had always known.

While in the last mile to achieve my mission, my next dream has already taken root: co-founding a start-up to pursue my passion for foreign language learning. Again, this dream defies my parents' expectations, but I believe in it and myself so I'll definitely find a way to succeed.

These past few years, my mother's near-terminal illness challenged my laser-focused, very narrow approach to life and taught me what it means to be human. Given her miraculous recovery that the doctors are not even able to explain, I am grateful for this second chance to finally be able to take care of her properly, as her daughter.

My parents used to tell me that whenever I was hungry in Thailand, I'd always go wandering around to find my father for food. I'm not the type of person that sits back and waits.

Nothing threatens me more than the notion of allowing myself to stagnate and not actively growing and building my potential. Suppressing my wills growing up had only compounded my desire to live life my way. I shudder at the very notion of leaving my life or career in Fate or another person's hands. Thus, I am constantly at crossroads as my mind seeks out alternative paths and possibilities.