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Memorable Quotes...
...From
our unique teachers
3A
Engineering Optimization - Paul Calamai
"If you want to sleep in class, please try not to snore. You might wake up
the person next to you."
- First day of class, May 6th, 2003
3A
Thermodynamics - Roydon Fraser
"I worked for my dad in the plant, guess what my job was? A butt inspector."
- After explaining that a butt was part of a piano, May 6th, 2003
2B
Statistics - Chris Springer
"There's
a world out there."
- October 8th, 2002
"That's
okay. Turn to stats to brighten your day!"
- November 19th, 2002
2B
Linear Systems and Signals - Ed Jernigan
"It would
demonstrate how clever I was, but I don't think it would help you very much."
- October 7, 2002
"If you
can't, here's a quarter. Call your mother and tell her you won't become an engineer."
- October 7, 2002
"If you
didn't follow that, this is just going to be a magic trick and you'll end up
with a bunny rabbit at the end."
- October 7, 2002
The Ultimate
Question: "What is Systems?"
The
Ultimate Answer (a truly classic quote): "Systems Design is all about sprinkling
poles and zeros on the s and z planes!"
- November 18, 2002
"Systems
design engineers - you're not normal people"
- First Lecture, Monday September 9, 2002
2A
Differential Equations - Katrin Rohlf
"Yes, this is
the fairy world of Systems Design 211"
2A
Mechanics of Deformable Solids - Heppler
"Airplanes have
to fly. Bridges don't."
"Ignorance can
be cured. Stupidity can't."
"You fall to
your death--or your armpits--whichever comes first."
2A
Physics 3 -- Savage
"You're just
a funny-looking wire to ground"
"Come back on
Monday and tell me you understand."
"High school
messes up more minds than linear algebra."
2A
Data Structures -- Tizhoosh
"We can destroy
Waterloo in 2 days"
"We should know
the ideas but the dirty work will be done by others"
"It is time
again to love each other. Yes--this is nature. You are mature guys."
1A
Calculus -- Smirnov
"If you haven't finished yet... You have one more hour"
(Laugh)
"If this is that funny, I'm going to tell this to the other class"
-October 16, 2000 at midterm exam
(In an attempt to get our attention back after someone breaks their chair)
"You will see antiderivatives on the final exam, but you will not see a
broken chair!"
(Laugh)
"Since you are so noisy, I'm going to prove this."
(We all shut up)
"Too late!"
- October 20, 2000
"You should also understand my excitement. I'm very excited about 'Definite
Integral'"
"I can prove this by Mathematical Induction, but I'm afraid of scaring you.....
Halloween is coming!"
- Friday, October 27, 2000
I wasn't going to prove this since you were relatively quiet... but, some
people were walking on the table and some people came in late.... SO, I'm going
to prove this.
- Wednesday, November 1, 2000
"Everybody no talking, it's time to complete the square."
"If you do not simplify your answers you will lose 9 marks out of 10" (Laughs)
"No no, I'm just joking, you will lose 10 marks out of 10!"
"I told you so, see, it's very simple!"
(after a 15 minute explanation of a complicated problem)
"What's so funny!? Tell me. I'm collecting jokes."
- Tuesday November 7, 2000
(To Matt when he came to class in his gi)
"I see you are dressed up in martial arts gear... I hope that has nothing
to do with the way I am teaching the course!"
- Wednesday, November 29
"Stop laughing..."
(Laughter)
"No no no, that was not permission to start laughing..." (More laughter)
"Radium has a half-life of 1590 years... This is a long time for you, but it
is not a long time for radium."
"This is the end of your Calculus course..."
(Applause)
"Oops, no, we have one more lecture. I will save that line for Monday!"
- Friday, December 1
If anybody has funny prof quotes, contact the webmaster.
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