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Memorable Quotes...
  ...From our unique teachers

3A Engineering Optimization - Paul Calamai

"If you want to sleep in class, please try not to snore. You might wake up the person next to you."
- First day of class, May 6th, 2003

3A Thermodynamics - Roydon Fraser

"I worked for my dad in the plant, guess what my job was? A butt inspector."
- After explaining that a butt was part of a piano, May 6th, 2003

2B Statistics - Chris Springer

"There's a world out there."
- October 8th, 2002

"That's okay. Turn to stats to brighten your day!"
- November 19th, 2002

2B Linear Systems and Signals - Ed Jernigan

"It would demonstrate how clever I was, but I don't think it would help you very much."
- October 7, 2002

"If you can't, here's a quarter. Call your mother and tell her you won't become an engineer."
- October 7, 2002

"If you didn't follow that, this is just going to be a magic trick and you'll end up with a bunny rabbit at the end."
- October 7, 2002

The Ultimate Question: "What is Systems?"
The Ultimate Answer (a truly classic quote): "Systems Design is all about sprinkling poles and zeros on the s and z planes!"
- November 18, 2002

"Systems design engineers - you're not normal people"
- First Lecture, Monday September 9, 2002

2A Differential Equations - Katrin Rohlf

"Yes, this is the fairy world of Systems Design 211"

2A Mechanics of Deformable Solids - Heppler

"Airplanes have to fly. Bridges don't."

"Ignorance can be cured. Stupidity can't."

"You fall to your death--or your armpits--whichever comes first."

2A Physics 3 -- Savage

"You're just a funny-looking wire to ground"

"Come back on Monday and tell me you understand."

"High school messes up more minds than linear algebra."

2A Data Structures -- Tizhoosh

"We can destroy Waterloo in 2 days"

"We should know the ideas but the dirty work will be done by others"

"It is time again to love each other. Yes--this is nature. You are mature guys."

1A Calculus -- Smirnov

"If you haven't finished yet... You have one more hour"
(Laugh)
"If this is that funny, I'm going to tell this to the other class"
-October 16, 2000 at midterm exam

(In an attempt to get our attention back after someone breaks their chair)
"You will see antiderivatives on the final exam, but you will not see a broken chair!"
(Laugh)
"Since you are so noisy, I'm going to prove this."
(We all shut up)
"Too late!"
- October 20, 2000

"You should also understand my excitement. I'm very excited about 'Definite Integral'"
"I can prove this by Mathematical Induction, but I'm afraid of scaring you..... Halloween is coming!"

- Friday, October 27, 2000

I wasn't going to prove this since you were relatively quiet... but, some people were walking on the table and some people came in late.... SO, I'm going to prove this.
- Wednesday, November 1, 2000

"Everybody no talking, it's time to complete the square."
"If you do not simplify your answers you will lose 9 marks out of 10"
(Laughs) "No no, I'm just joking, you will lose 10 marks out of 10!"
"I told you so, see, it's very simple!"

(after a 15 minute explanation of a complicated problem)
"What's so funny!? Tell me. I'm collecting jokes."
- Tuesday November 7, 2000

(To Matt when he came to class in his gi)
"I see you are dressed up in martial arts gear... I hope that has nothing to do with the way I am teaching the course!"
- Wednesday, November 29

"Stop laughing..."
(Laughter)
"No no no, that was not permission to start laughing..." (More laughter)
"Radium has a half-life of 1590 years... This is a long time for you, but it is not a long time for radium."
"This is the end of your Calculus course..."
(Applause)
"Oops, no, we have one more lecture. I will save that line for Monday!"

- Friday, December 1


If anybody has funny prof quotes, contact the webmaster.


   University of Waterloo
   200 University Ave. W.
   Waterloo, Ontario Canada
   N2L 3G1 519.888.4567
   www.uwaterloo.ca

1A:Fall 2000
1B:Summer 2001
2A:Winter 2002
2B:Fall 2002
3A:Summer 2003
3B:Winter 2004
4A:Fall 2004
4B:Winter 2005